AuthenticWoman

I have been thinking I have been eating WAY too many calories for my size, and so I looked up how many calories and grams of fat (a guideline) I should consume daily.

I have discovered that I should be having between 1050 and 1300 calories per day to achieve weight loss. To maintain my weight I should have up to 1500. Doesn't sound much does it?

Except we are already at 5.30 pm and I have only consumed 918 calories and that includes my evening meal.

And apparently I can have up to 65g of fat. Surely not? Isn't that a HUGE amount of fat? I've had 23.3 grams so far.

Hmm. I haven't added my milk intake, but it is semi skimmed so that is only 47 calories per 100ml.

I guess it all adds up.

In other news, a pal of mine said I look like I've lost loads of weight and I'm looking "right skinny". She's being flattering, but it was nice anyway

Can you hear that??

That is the sound of a 150g family bar of Galaxy chocolate whispering temptation to me from the fridge door.

Well, after both exercising hard and denying myself my favorite foods in favour of fruit, I am totally gutted to report a complete non-mover in the weight loss department.

Nothing. Not a fucking ounce.

I am totally gutted.

I know everyone said that after 40 it would be harder to both get and keep the weight off.

I know everyone said that getting sterilised would add pounds.

I don't care what everyone fucking knows. *I* know I need to lose weight and it is a struggle every step of the way.

Yeah, I am enjoying the gym. Loving it, actually. But I still expect to lose some weight after the sweat and tears.

It never *used* to be this hard.

I went to the gym this morning. I've not been for a while and I know it. I can feel my muscles seizing (seizeing?) up.

Each morning and evening I do 20 situp thingies, 20 crushes, 20 pushups and a small yoga routine. It isn't enough.

Today when I hit the gym, I programmed in a hard-ish programme on the cross trainer (my fave machine) for 30 minutes. After 12 minutes I thought I was gonna die. I pushed thru it though and hit the burn and - wow! - what a feeling. God, I missed those endorphins SO much! By the time I was up to 20 minutes I was feeling ecstatic and smiling away to myself, eyes closed, listening to my MP3 player and just thrilling with the power of my body ... pushing the limits.

I then did some weights - the home stuff is obviously working because I was able to lift heavier weights and do more reps than I did the last time I was there. All very encouraging and I really want to go back tomorrow, but know that if I start going every day I shall become obsessed again, and that is not a good thing.

I'm sooooo hungry.

Well, I know I pretty much had a skinful on Saturday night, but I didn't expect it to turn into poundage already. Which means I fully expect next weeks scales to be rather less forgiving than today's, having told me one of the pounds I had lost has found it's way home. Little fucker.

I am totally gutted.

I am sitting here, drinking my tea, thinking of all the other things I can cut out of my diet. What the hell is left? Perhaps smaller portions is the way to go, but - christ - I am already starving by the time the next meal comes along. Hmm, I guess less hungry between meals than I was when I started the diet, so perhaps my stomach needs to shrink a bit more.

I could always knock my half a sugar in my tea down to a quarter. Or maybe drink fewer cups - drink water instead ... that is bound to be better for me as well. Just not so much damn fun.

Why the hell can't chocolate be better for you than freakin apples?

It is vaguely alarming when you are invited to a 70s/80s fancy dress party and you can walk straight to your own, everyday, wardrobe and pick out three outfits straight off.